Bullying

 There is something laying heavy on my heart, and so I have decided I must write about it.  Andrew (my 10 yr old son) came home from school yesterday, and told me about a boy that hit him on the bus. He said the boy was messing with a girl & calling her names & making her cry! When he told the boy to stop, the boy hit him. Of course, my 1st response was, "Did you tell the bus driver?" I knew that Andrew had not hit the boy back, because as some of my family has called him, Andrew is a Gentle Giant. He has one of the biggest, softest hearts of anyone I have ever known. When he was in 1st grade, he was severely bullied by a boy that was half his size & even bitten by the kid at recess! I talked to the school numerous times, and after threatening to go to the school board, it was finally taken care of. But, I have to say, that was a horribly  painful time. Andrew stopped wanting to go to school, and his weight ballooned. I tried everything I could do to let him know how amazing he was, but when a child is forced to go to school & be bullied, it takes a massive toll on their self esteem. My heart ached for my little baby boy. The entire thing just blew my mind! All of my children are always dressed nice when they go to school, their hair is always done. Andrew has never picked on anyone in his life. Why was this happening? I began to question myself. Had I raised my children to be to polite? To nice? With to many Christian qualities? Had I not prepared them for the "real world"? i began to feel like I was feeding them to the wolves by sending them to school.Eventually, with a lot of love, he moved past it & everything turned out ok. When Andrew reached 3rd grade, all 3 of my brothers told me I should put him in football. That was hard for me, because I thought he was going to get crushed. Ok, I know, I am a bit overprotective! lol But, with their persistence, I put him in. He loved it! His self esteem soared! And then he went on to join wrestling. He was so happy! He loved being a part of a team & I really think it helped him be more aware of his strength. His heart was still just as sweet as ever, just filled with more happiness.

Andrew's biological Father, my 1st husband, was bullied his entire life. It really took a toll on him and later, he ended up committing suicide. If only something had been done to help him, when he was a child. When his self esteem was destroyed. Andrew does not know the truth about how he died, but honestly, I have heard of this happening with many people. That kind of thing can happen. It is very real. I know that in Andrew's case, the words they spoke to him, cut him far worse than anything physical they did. Words hurt. Words can cut you to the very being of who you are. Especially with a child.

Andrew's response to me about whether he had told the bus driver or not was, "Yes, but he said he was busy, he had to drive." The bus driver they have right now, has been subbing for a few weeks. (Their regular bus driver had to have surgery & we will back later.)  So, then Andrew tells me that after the boy hit him, he grabbed the boys hand when he went to do it again and bent his hand back & told him to stop. He told me the boy was in his grade & he knew the boy was going to mess with hm again the next day. I told him, like I have done so many times before, to stand up for his self. I told him I was proud of him for standing up for the girl, and that he was just as important as the girl. That he should stand up for his self, like he did the girl. Late last night, Andrew came and set down next to me at the computer, where I working on editing some pictures. I asked him if he was having trouble sleeping, as I had already said goodnight & tucked them all in. Andrew raised his head & looked me right in my eyes and said, "Mommy, if he hits me again tomorrow, I am going to hit him back. Okay?" He was so serious. The look in his eyes, was heart breaking. I knew that he had lay in there and thought it over & over in his head. I could see that he understood what the magnitude of his actions could be. I told him I loved him and gave him a hug. I told him that it doesn't make you a bad person if you defend yourself. That is our right as human beings. I told him I was proud of him...

Just a little while ago, while I was at the store, the school called. The Principal left a voicemail, saying that Andrew had been involved in a fight at school. He said that Andrew tackled a boy. But that Andrew had not been the instigator, and that boy had hit Andrew in the face with his hat. Even though Andrew had tackled the boy, after only being hit with the hat, Andrew was not going to be suspended. He said that Andrew does not have a record of doing this kind of thing, so he was going to lose 3 of his recesses. I have to say, that I am so proud of Andrew! I couldn't help but be happy when I heard the message. I am just overjoyed that Andrew finally stuck up for himself.

May you always follow your convictions. May you always defend for what is right in this world. Stand up for all that is good & true. I love you Andrew, my sweet, precious little soul...

*School bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics show the 77% of students are bullied mentally, verbally and physically.    http://www.vmad.com/joomla/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=60&Itemid=90